Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
You can't special order awesome
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
