im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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