All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize