god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
