i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
