before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
