This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize