Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
i now understand why vodka
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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