That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
