Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
