Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
