covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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