I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
