I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
