you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
