is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
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Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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