I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
