He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize