No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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