I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
