Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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