Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
