I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
