i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize