I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
