you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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