pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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