I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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