Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
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