Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
