i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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