quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
