I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize