I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
