We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
