Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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