He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
