I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
