My sheets look like a crime scene.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
