real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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