Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize