I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
