there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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