I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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