apparently the secret to your success is patron
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize