i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
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