This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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