i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
