Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
sex in a hospital.. check
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
