i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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