There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
