if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
this is an emotional support booty call
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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