Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
