When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
