oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
