Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
