Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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