why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
