I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
