Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Randomize
