I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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